Thursday, October 05, 2006

52-year-olds having sex with 16-year-olds

Bill Maher said yesterday on CNN that he does not consider former Congressman Mark Foley a pedophile because none of the minors involved was a child. He is correct about that. The kids had "all the power," according to Maher. In the sense of sexual politics, yes, they did. But in the broader sense--the one that matters--they were vulnerable to an authority figure. On three counts, in fact: Foley was an adult, a Congressman, and their their employer (in the sense that Congress was their employer).

Other have suggested that the boys were not victims because they enjoyed the exchanges with Foley (not all of them did, by the way, and--for the record--many children who are sexually abused also enjoy some of the activity, even while they are repulsed by it), and that having tempting young flesh around is the real problem.

It is true that, as far as we know, Foley is certainly not a pedophile because he is not sexually attracted to children. But to imply that he has done nothing wrong other than behave carelessly indicates that Maher's libertarian beliefs may have run amock.

The brain of a 16-year-old has not finished growing. Anyone who has ever been around a 16-year-old for more than five minutes knows that the average one lacks good judgment. 16-year-olds drive too fast, drink while intoxicated, get in fights, have unprotected sex, display rampant narcissism, and do not have a clear sense of identity. They are also extremely vulnerable to the opinions and urgings of others; that is why they are so easy to induct into cults. For an adult person to carry out a sexual relationship of any kind with a 16-year-old is therefore abusive.

There is also the matter of taking advantage of one's authority. Though Monica Lewinsky was not an adolescent, Bill Clinton abused his authority by engaging in sexual activities with her. He exploited their relationship, which is both inappropriate behavior and sexual harrassment.

And then there is a matter of which no one has spoken: The homophobic culture in this country is so great that gay and bisexual adolescents, afraid or unable to seek relationships with peers, will accept relationships with grown men. Unless they live in very large cities or in very liberal communities, they have no role models. They are told by their parents, their schools, their churches, and their government that there is something wrong with them and that they are a danger to society. When someone comes along who is gay and is nice to them, they are often relieved. So, to a large extent, we have created this problem.

2 Comments:

You're right. I think a lot of insecure people want to be near power, or power as they perceive it. When I was young, I worked for a man like that. He was a nerd, in fact, and thought he was a liberal (believe me, he wasn't). He lived to rub shoulders and have cocktails with judges and legislators and their handlers, and he got into their world through his ad agency.

It was all shallow, and some of it was crooked. It made me think of when I was a little girl and my father did some work in the state capitol building He was around there a lot, and said the legislators drank like fish all the time.

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