As for Pam Shriver...

How about that towel and one of Bethanie Mattek's big socks, and stuff them both in her mouth? Shriver's delight in analyzing nonexistent trouble and stirring up nonsense is enough to make me want to break the television. She turned an otherwise entertaining (if you don't count the really bad line calls) match between Jelena Jankovic and Serena Williams into a "controversy" that existed only in her own twisted mind.