I am tired of being referred to as a man
I recently went to lunch with a female friend, and after we sat down, the young waiter said "What can I get you guys?"
I told him we weren't guys, and he did that kind of "oh yeah I always say that, huh?" look, smiled, and said "What can I get you ladies?" We smiled back and ordered. He brought us our food, and a while later, came back and asked "How is it, guys...oops...ladies?" We smiled and said it was very good and thanked him.
Later he came back and asked "Can I get you g-...ladies some more tea? And there was a bite in the "ladies" because, you know, who the hell did I think I was, asking to be referred to as a woman and not a man?
I wouldn't have to do this if women gently reminded people that they are women and not men, and if women stopped calling women men. And if every feminist approached each group of men or each mixed gender group and said "Hey, what's up, you gals?"
I told him we weren't guys, and he did that kind of "oh yeah I always say that, huh?" look, smiled, and said "What can I get you ladies?" We smiled back and ordered. He brought us our food, and a while later, came back and asked "How is it, guys...oops...ladies?" We smiled and said it was very good and thanked him.
Later he came back and asked "Can I get you g-...ladies some more tea? And there was a bite in the "ladies" because, you know, who the hell did I think I was, asking to be referred to as a woman and not a man?
I wouldn't have to do this if women gently reminded people that they are women and not men, and if women stopped calling women men. And if every feminist approached each group of men or each mixed gender group and said "Hey, what's up, you gals?"
posted by Diane at 2:17 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
My niece worked for Disney World a few years back. They are trained to call everyone "folks" -- apparently, it's focus-group tested to not offend anyone....
By
Fred Vincy, at
3:19 PM
They might want to re-think that; it sounds too much like GWB.
By
Diane, at
3:23 PM
I like to say, "You people." It sort of cracks me up for some reason.
By
Helen Wheels, at
4:21 PM
And maybe the term "y'all" isn't so bad after all?
By
Helen Wheels, at
4:22 PM
There are so many choices: "you people," "people," "folks,"
everyone," "all," etc. But I like "you gals" so that men can know what it feels like to be excluded and women can maybe have a light turned on.
By
Diane, at
4:45 PM
I work in customer service -- and I've found that saying "Hallo ladies" or "lasses" is just as likely to cause offense as saying "Hey guys" or "Howdy y'all" or "Hey sugah."
There's just no pleasing people :p
I mean yes, by all means, insist on being referred to properly -- I have nothing against that -- it's just that it's a bit difficult to tell what'll set people off, from a behind-the-counter perspective.
By
baby221, at
6:04 PM
I don't really see the big deal in it. If the person treats all of your with respect that is. I suppose I could understand if you were referred to as a "guy", then this in your case would not be respectful. It is not hard to imagine how many gentlement get offended when they are referred as a woman. I mean, don't get "them" started, lol.
By
April, at
6:22 PM
I think that from a behind-the-counter perspective, it may indeed be dicey to know what sets people off. But that really is a separate issue from calling women men.
By
Diane, at
6:30 PM
I'm so happy to see a post on women being called "you guys"! Whenever I'd complain about it, everyone rolled their eyes at me, but I see I'm not alone!
By
Kate AuH2O, at
8:39 PM
Which is why I urge everyone to use "hey you gals." Calling for inclusive language does nothing. Until non-feminist men feel the sting of having their core identities stripped from them, we will all be stuck in "tradition."
By
Diane, at
9:15 PM
Up north, we all said "you guys" to refer to people in general, not men or women. It is used in the the exact same way as "y'all", but uttering "y'all" north of Missouri is the equivalent of announcing you have an IQ of 70. The first time I did I got a dirty look, and promptly expunged it from my vocabulary, along with "fixin' to".
By
KathyF, at
2:31 AM
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