Why are parents reinforcing harmful gender roles?

If you are one of the millions of mothers and fathers whose adolescent daughter believes she is supposed to wait for a boy to ask her out and that the boy is always supposed to pay, why are you continuing to let this go on? Likewise, if you are the parent of a boy who believes it is "wrong" for girls to ask boys out, and that boys should always pay for dates.

And if you are a young (or even not so young) woman or man who believes these things, can you say "feminism"? "Rigid gender roles"? For girls and women to still think they are supposed to wait for boys and men to initiate dates is perfectly ridiculous and socially harmful, yet it is very common. And if you still believe that dating is a form of socially acceptable prostitution, you really need to do some deep thinking. While it is true that men still make more money than women (big surprise), most women can nevertheless afford to either pay for inexpensive dates or split the bill of an inexpensive date.

In discussing her book, Self-Made Man, on television this morning, Norah Vincent said that when she passed as a man, the things men said when there were no women in the room were shockingly dehumanizing toward women. She also said that most of these things were said out of a great sense of insecurity because, in this culture, men are still the ones who have to risk rejection over and over.

Obviously, men have a long way to go in building self-esteem if they have to insult and degrade women in order to feel better about themselves. But it is crazy that they are still expected to be the ones to do the asking. It is hard on men, yes, but it imprisons women, once again reminding us of our second-class status in society.

What bothers me most, though, is that parents are raising their sons and daughters to believe that roles which give power to men and take power away from women are acceptable. Someone please remind me what century we are in.