How the Culture of Nice is destroying America

My psychotherapy clients, on an alarmingly frequent basis, begin sentences with the words "I don't want to say anything bad about him..." then go on to describe fathers, mothers, husbands, and wives who beat, cheat, lie, molest, and deceive. But they want to make sure I know that they really don't want to say anything bad about their family members or co-workers or neighbors.

Just this morning, a Democrat called in to C-Span's "Washington Journal" to say he did not agree with George W. Bush's policies, but he was tired of members of his party criticizing the Bush. (I would like to know who these Democrats are, because I haven't heard them do anything but kiss Bush's ass since 1999.) "They need to be positive!" he said.

Well, here are the facts: Bush was put into office by a collection of large oil companies who, of course, did not put him there because they liked his taste in clothes. He got to the White House because of big oil and a dishonest election process. He got there the second time through a dishonest election process. He lied to the American people in order to invade a country for no reason at all, and caused thousands of deaths and maimings. He put the country into debt, and made us a bigger target for terrorists. He has instituted a program to suppress free speech, nominated judges who specialize in depriving people of their civil liberties, and put policies in place that protect pollutors. He has contributed to the suffering of thousands of Third World women and children from AIDS, given massive tax cuts to the very wealthy, and appointed a long list of criminals and morally distasteful people to positions in his administration.

And we're not supposed to say anything bad about him?

The same "nice" culture I see in my office is the one that chastises us if we do not "respect" Bush because he is the president. First of all, he isn't the legally elected president. But even if he were, that is like saying children must respect their parents because they are parents, which is also an American value. People have to earn respect, and they do not do so by neglecting, abusing, and setting terrible examples.

Americans do not want to know the truth because it might make them feel bad, and it is important to feel good at all times. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

A few years ago, a woman in my office was describing her son's psychosis. He was paranoid, and part of an anti-federal government survivalist-type movement. She started her description by saying to me: "You know how you always assume the president of the United States is acting for the good of the country?"

I told her, "No, I don't assume that." Her eyes got wide, and I realized that those of us who do not believe that our leaders necessarily have our best interest at heart are assumed to be mentally ill.

What is mentally ill is mass denial. Stealing is stealing. Lying is lying. Fraud is fraud. Oppression is oppression. Torture is torture. Hypocrisy is hypocrisy. Those who commit these things are not "nice." They are evil. Someone needs to speak up.