Sunday, December 25, 2005

A merry Christmas, in spite of myself

Everything today has gone well--so far. But it has been like a sitcom over here for the last few days.

Our neighbors were coming over on Friday night, so Thursday evening, I made some snacks. I roasted some Mexican tomatoes, made an olivata, and made a spread with cream cheese substitute, chives, walnuts, and pomegranate arils. Tasty.

But where to put all these things so roving felines wouldn't get to them? Even though the bowls were covered, I thought I should put them safely away. The microwave is my favorite storage place, but I couldn't get everything in there, so I put a couple of the bowls in the oven.

Friday evening, I realized we were running out of tea cakes, so I decided to make some more. I turned the oven on to heat it, and you know the rest. When I opened it to put the cookie sheet in, I saw two blue globs that used to be plastic bowls. It was around 6:00, and the neighbors were coming over at 7:00. While my husband scraped melted plastic out of the oven, I went into some kind of primitive Martha Stewart mode, trying to stay calm, beat the clock, and replace the snacks. Fortunately, the roasted tomatoes were stored in the microwave. I found a jar of calimata olives, got out the garlic, olive oil, and pine nuts, and made a second--much stronger--olivata. It took awhile because of the pits in the olives.

I had nothing else that resembled cream cheese, and I had no more walnuts, but I found some sour cream substitute, some more chives, and some more arils, so there was another spread made within moments. Also working on adrenalin, my husband got the oven functioning, and I managed to bake the tea cakes. Then we lit the candles, put on some music, and in walked the neighbors.

Yesterday, I decided to get as much of the Christmas cooking out of the way as possible. I made whole wheat muffins and put them in the oven. While they were baking, I found Roxie (see above) in the bedroom, poking around near an electrical outlet. Suddenly, she ran by with a lizard in her mouth. I chased her into the living room, with instructions to "drop that lizard!" She did. I couldn't get to Velma, but I grabbed Roxie to shut her in the bedroom. Only my muffins were going to burn, so I galloped into the kitchen, tabby cat under my arm, and with the other hand, got a potholder and pulled the muffins out.

I then ran with Roxie to the bedroom, shut her in, and returned to the living room, where my husband had overturned the armchair under which the lizard had run. To our amazement, it didn't move, so I was able to grab it and take it outside. Somewhere in that span of time, I managed to get a pot of lentil soup on, so we had lentil soup and whole wheat muffins, and I was very tired.

So far today there have been no mishaps, but the day is young.


Oh my god! I tried not to, but I had to laugh. I know it was horrible for you. But the image of blue blobs in your oven...maybe you can out-blue Roxanne for a blue Christmas.

By Anonymous KathyF, at 2:06 PM  

Great story, Diane. For the rest of us, I mean! Hope the rest of your holiday is easy-peasy. Best wishes to you both!

P.S. Very impressive that Roxie listens re: releasing lizards and such. I barely have db trained so well. ;->

By Anonymous ae, at 3:33 PM  

Well, today was a lot easier. Gifts and catnip, trip to the cinema, nice dinner. Sneaking a look at the TV set now and then because there was both a Woody Allen marathon and a Quenton Tarantino marathon on.

No lizards to rescue, no bowls to melt. That's what I call a good Christmas.

By Anonymous Diane, at 8:55 PM  

We celebrated on Christmas Eve, and I made my pies, only two, the night before the eve. While my daughter crashed, my grandsons asleep, and my husband watching television, I made the pies.
My oven at out townhouse is so small that only the turkey fit, so after the turkey cooked, in went the dressing and the bread. I wasn't rushed, didn't burn anything, but by the time the food was ready and everyone sat down for the feast, I was too tired to eat. My seven-year-old grandson helped me carve the turkey and I explained to him what the oysters were and he tasted them and loved them the best, he ate all the giblets so the giblet gravy was actually wing gravy, and he, too, passed on a plate of food telling everyone that he worked too hard helping Nana carve the bird, actually, he ate more of the bird than he realized. Everything was nice. Your rush sounds like my normal holiday, rush and serve and to my amazement, it all runs like clock work.

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