For Cindy and those who camp with her

With grateful acknowledgment to Allan Sherman:

Hello Stacy, hi there Tracy
Here I am at Camp Casey
Camp is really quite inspiring
And I'd like it more if I could stop perspiring

Lance went biking with the liar
But the health pie won't get higher
You remember the brush-whacker?
He's in Idaho because he's such a slacker

They call us hippies, call us traitors
Say the town's full of agitators
Larry Mattlage wants no patriots
So he fired his gun to show how much he hates us

Now I don't want to alarm you
But some of them want to harm you
Since arriving, we've had more losses
Some big redneck came and mowed down all the crosses

Won't go home, my dearest Stacy
Won't go home, I love Camp Casey
Don't send me back to the city where
I might not meet Americans who care
Won't go home, I promise I will make a lot of noise
Hope it's the ranch house it annoys
Made up my mind to stay
Until the very last day

Dearest Stacy, darling Tracy
You would love it at Camp Casey
Won't come home yet, though you miss me
I don't care how many Freeper no-necks dis me

Wait a minute, Cindy's here now
Folks are smiling, drinking beer now
Having her back makes it better
Stacy, make 10,000 copies of this letter