Monday, July 18, 2005

Feminists destroy western civilization, including Ore-Ida fries

Via Ms. Musings comes this: psychiatrist Mark Klein of Oakland owns 1,642 shares of H.J. Heinz, and he is calling for the company to hire an investment banker to explore the sale of the company. Heinz shares have fallen 27% since 1999, and according to Klein--ALL TOGETHER NOW!--feminists are to blame.

Terrorists knocking over the World Trade Center? Feminists are to blame. Increased crime in America? Feminists are to blame. Can't sell catsup? Feminists are to blame.

Heinz, a RedNova article says, is "in a bind over...an eipdemic of obesity and diabetes, diseases more Americans are inflicted with because their moms aren't home to prepare and serve home-cooked meals." Says Klein: "To reverse the epidemic, more mothers need to be at home to prepare nutritious balanced meals and supervise the childrens' snacking."

My first thought is: What is it about having a penis that renders someone incapbable of preparing meals and supervising his kids' snacks? My second thought is: What is it that Heinz makes that Klein thinks is so healthy for children? This? This? I'm all for condiments, but we're not talking about fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains here.

If I had 1% of the power people like Klein attribute to me, I could take over the world.

7 Comments:

What is it about having a penis that renders someone incapbable of preparing meals and supervising his kids' snacks?

What a minute, wait a minute. Next you'll be expecting men to go to parent teacher conferences, take kids to soccer and actually participate in their lives. That puts us on the slippery slope to male housekeeping duties, like washing dishes, using the vacuum, and doing the laundry.

Uh-uh, no can do.

I mean there's a limit to this male liberation stuff, after all.

(From Fred, who actually does do the cooking.)

By Blogger handdrummer, at 3:23 PM  

This reminded me of a comment my sister made the other day to her 14 year old daughter. My sister was tired and it was dinner time. Her comment?

"Well, I guess everyone's hungry and since I have a vagina I get to cook dinner."

My niece just looked at her for a minute and then said, "What's having a vagina got to do with it?"

My sister's response? "Exactly." Then she picked up the phone and ordered pizza.

By Anonymous Kathy, at 4:03 PM  

That's funny. Good for your sister. I sometimes forget that that kind of thing goes on with regard to cooking because where I live, men kick women out of the kitchen so they can cook without hindrance.

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