Thou shalt not give a damn about the First Amendment

In justifying his decision in the Texas Ten Commandments monument case, Justice Steven Breyer wrote that the monument in front of the Texas capitol "suggests little or nothing of the sacred." His reasoning was that since the monument was not standing on its own, but was one among several non-religious monuments, the context was neutralized. I understand that reasoning, but I disagree with it, and here's why:

By having one Judeo-Christian monument stand in a collection of non-religious monuments, the message is still clear that Judeo-Christian religions are being promoted. If the monuments included something that represented non-Judeo-Christian religions practiced in America, I would be more inclined to agree with the spirit of Breyer's decision. I probably still wouldn't be comfortable, but I would at least not feel the discomfort I now feel over the court's decision.

Already in place is a nationwide campaign to install Ten Commandments monuments in one hundred cities across the nation. The Christians who support this movement are not interested in "cultural" representation; they are interested in a "Yay, Jesus!" domination of the intellectural and cultural landscape of the country. Interestingly, they are not joined by Jewish citizens, to whom the Ten Commandments actually belong.

Perhaps now would be a good time to examine those Ten Commandments:

1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me.

I have to wonder how many of America's Christians could give me a decent recounting of the flight from Egypt and the subsequent tradition of making Passover bread and celebrating Passover.

2. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Many Christians have used the second commandment to bludgeon Roman Catholics, who use statues and crucifixes in worship. Those same Christians, however, think nothing of sticking oversized Wal-Mart creches in their front yards in November.

3. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

What is the misuse of the Lord's name? Most religions agree that curses including God's name are violations of the third commandment. But what about Jesus bumper stickers and T-shirts? Are they violations of the commandment, or are they just tacky beyond belief (pun intended)? Is a Hail Mary pass a violation of the third commandment?

4. Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work--you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns.

Are Christians accepting Sunday (Saturday is the actual sabbath, as established by Jewish tradition) shifts at the grocery store check-out line? Are they standing in the grocery store checkout line, doing their weekly shopping? Running their power mowers? Cleaning the house? Going to the office to catch up on paperwork? It makes no differnce to me, but it violates the fourth commandment.

5. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

This is my least favorite commandment, since so many hundreds of thousands of mothers and fathers do not deserve to be honored. On the other hand, the fifth commandment was radical for its time because it called for equal respect for both parents. This is probably one of the commandments most observed by Christians, yet the observance is often fake, and occurs at the cost of the observer's mental health.

6. You shall not murder.

Ah, the Christian Culture of Life. You shall not let fetuses or brain-dead women die, no matter what. But you should support a government that sends your children off to be killed in a sham war; that kills thousands of innocent Iraqi citizens; that ensures the painful deaths of hundreds of thousands of African women and children; that encourages citizens to murder judges and gay citizens. And you can chat about how to save those fetuses over a tasty factory farm lunch, thereby supporting the torture and painful deaths of billions of helpless creatures.

7. You shall not commit adultery.

We already know that born-again Christians have a 4% higher divorce rate than those who do not share a Christian belief. Are any of those divorces due to adultery? What do you think?

8. You shall not steal.

That would include from the government, which means that tax-cheating really is a no-no, as is copyright theft, which is now a national pasttime. It also means taking items from your workplace, raiding your families' possessions to support your drug or gambling habit, evading your financial obligations, and conspiring to commit insurance fraud. And co-opting someone else's religious tradition and pretending it's yours. Oh, and stealing Kerry signs from people's yards. And taking away people's right to cast a ballot in an election. And conspiring to rob thousands of Americans of their pensions when you are a trustee of the Methodist Church.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

What? No lying? That would put America's number one born-again Christian in an embarrassing position. Except it doesn't seem to matter.

10. You shall not covet your neighor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

You're not only not supposed to get it on with your neighbor's wife (or son or daughter, or whoever); you're not even supposed to want to. It isn't supposed to bother you that your sister has a Lexus and a four-bedroom house and you're working two jobs. Or that your neighbor went to Europe and you went to the lake for the weekend. Perhaps my perspective is off, but I haven't noticed Christians abstaining from envy.

The Christians who are celebrating over the Texas capitol court decision are no more interested in the Ten Commandments than they are in the Constitution.