Put down that Guinness and try a Sanctifex No. 3 Red

Such is the shortage of Roman Catholic priests in the U.K. that the Catholic Church has decided to run recruitment ads on beer mats in pubs and on posters on the London Underground.

Picture some poor guy whose girlfriend (or otherwise) has just left him. He's sitting at the bar, nibbling on his crisps, and as he quaff his fourth pint, he looks at the beer mat at sees a way out of his misery. Or maybe he's playing his weekly game of darts, looks down, and realizes he doesn't have to be tossing darts, drinking with his mates, and having a rollicking good time--he could be a priest!

Perhaps I'm missing something, but it appears to me that the term "market research" may have escaped the Brit Catholics. Of course, if they ordained women and let priests marry, they probably wouldn't have to compete with Pimm's and Newcastle. As it is, I don't think I'm going out on a limb to say that Pimm's and Newcastle will get a hell of a lot more takers.