A list of the special rights of homosexuals

The right to save yourself a lot of money and stress because you cannot seek political office

The right to sleep in on Sunday because the churches do not want you

The right to spend a lot more of your money because the government won't let you adopt children

The right to enjoy your post-divorce free time because they government won't let you keep your children

The right to have more leisure time because the Scouts and ball teams don't want you near their members

The right to develop highly proficient duplicity skills, since revealing who you are may cost you your job, your social standing, and your family

The right to leave a room where there are children so that other people won't have to keep an eye on you all the time

The right to milk a lot of sympathy because members of the opposite gender say your sexual orientation is "such a waste"

The right, if you are a man, to bask in the knowledge that you seriously threaten a major portion of the male population

The right to gloat because so many straight people are convinced you desire them

The right to leave a party whenever you wish because you couldn't bring your partner or date in the first place

The right to stay home and watch television while your partner is in intensive care, since the hospital staff won't allow you in the room

The right to throw deadly kicks and punches because there is a good chance you will need to do so to keep your bones intact and save your life