Rose are red, men are retail targets
media girl is looking for feminist analyses of Valentine's Day, so here are some thoughts I have about it...
If Valentine's Day exploits anyone, it is heterosexual men, who are pressured by both tradition and heavy marketing to do something over-the-top for their women. With the exception of Christmas, no other observance brings out as much vomit-worthy advertising. Mall jewelry stores pushing diamond bracelets, heart pendants, and--of course--engagement rings, vie with florists to take whatever post-Christmas cash men have.
The Victorians, whose lovely and whimsical Valentine cards are still reproduced, would all stagger to their fainting couches if they could see what we have done to February 14. The image of hearts, flowers, and cupids is a sweet one. The image of sickeningly enthusiastic men in bad suits and worse hair stacking pre-wrapped boxes of tennis bracelets is not pretty.
I personally do not know any men stupid enough to buy into this nonsense, and I have no sympathy for those who are exploited. As with Christmas, the question is: Since a special occasion has been comercialized to death, is it wrong to observe it? The answer is that everyone should do what s/he damn well pleases. When I was growing up, men bought candy and flowers for women, and women were proud of and grateful for their gifts. But Valentine's Day--despite its commercialism--is no longer part of the woman-stuck-on-a-pedestal syndrome. Women buy cards and flowers for men, and men like it. In fact, the modern observance of Valentine's Day puts the lie to the myth that women must be "courted" by men, that men must display proof of their provider status, and that romance is the exclusive property of heterosexuals.
To be without a partner on Valentine's Day can feel rotten, I suppose, though it never bothered me when I was without a partner because I never gave Valentine's Day any particular importance. The only time I have ever let myself be hurt by one of these observances was when I took a woman who has been like a mother to me to lunch one Mother's Day, and the woman waiting our table handed us both roses, saying to me, "I know you must be a wonderful mother." I wanted to slap her until she bled, because, at the time, my childlessness was the source of extreme emotional pain for me. Later, when I thought about it, I wanted to slap her all over again because, for all she knew, I had beaten my kids with belts or driven them into the lake.
But back to the topic at hand...Valentine's Day, like Christmas, can be small and sweet, or big and gaudy. Or it can not be there at all. In an era when young women still sit by the phone and wait for men to call them and a major national pollster thinks that women must wait for men to propose marriage, Valentine's Day seems pretty benign.
I leave you, gentle reader, with some thoughts from Dorothy Parker.
If Valentine's Day exploits anyone, it is heterosexual men, who are pressured by both tradition and heavy marketing to do something over-the-top for their women. With the exception of Christmas, no other observance brings out as much vomit-worthy advertising. Mall jewelry stores pushing diamond bracelets, heart pendants, and--of course--engagement rings, vie with florists to take whatever post-Christmas cash men have.
The Victorians, whose lovely and whimsical Valentine cards are still reproduced, would all stagger to their fainting couches if they could see what we have done to February 14. The image of hearts, flowers, and cupids is a sweet one. The image of sickeningly enthusiastic men in bad suits and worse hair stacking pre-wrapped boxes of tennis bracelets is not pretty.
I personally do not know any men stupid enough to buy into this nonsense, and I have no sympathy for those who are exploited. As with Christmas, the question is: Since a special occasion has been comercialized to death, is it wrong to observe it? The answer is that everyone should do what s/he damn well pleases. When I was growing up, men bought candy and flowers for women, and women were proud of and grateful for their gifts. But Valentine's Day--despite its commercialism--is no longer part of the woman-stuck-on-a-pedestal syndrome. Women buy cards and flowers for men, and men like it. In fact, the modern observance of Valentine's Day puts the lie to the myth that women must be "courted" by men, that men must display proof of their provider status, and that romance is the exclusive property of heterosexuals.
To be without a partner on Valentine's Day can feel rotten, I suppose, though it never bothered me when I was without a partner because I never gave Valentine's Day any particular importance. The only time I have ever let myself be hurt by one of these observances was when I took a woman who has been like a mother to me to lunch one Mother's Day, and the woman waiting our table handed us both roses, saying to me, "I know you must be a wonderful mother." I wanted to slap her until she bled, because, at the time, my childlessness was the source of extreme emotional pain for me. Later, when I thought about it, I wanted to slap her all over again because, for all she knew, I had beaten my kids with belts or driven them into the lake.
But back to the topic at hand...Valentine's Day, like Christmas, can be small and sweet, or big and gaudy. Or it can not be there at all. In an era when young women still sit by the phone and wait for men to call them and a major national pollster thinks that women must wait for men to propose marriage, Valentine's Day seems pretty benign.
I leave you, gentle reader, with some thoughts from Dorothy Parker.
posted by Diane at 11:54 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Shop at your favorite stores 24 hours a day. Why go to the mall when you can shop online and avoid the traffic
By
Anonymous, at
12:43 PM
It’s so sad people have become to transform holidays into marketing. They have a talent in loosing anything that’s sacred and get money instead. There’s no sensibility, no love, nothing pure in these holidays only cleverness in selling as much as one can, wisdom in convincing the customer that this is the most appropriate gift for the loved one.
By
Anonymous, at
6:02 AM
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