On "Christian therapy"

I recently had a prospective client call me to schedule a psychotherapy appointment. She asked if she could ask me a question. That is pretty common. People usually ask questions that cannot be answered, like "What kind of therapy do you do?" (It depends on the person and the problem), "How many sessions will it take?" (I have no idea, since I haven't evaluated you yet), and "Do you do _____ therapy?" (Yes, but that doesn't mean it is the kind of therapy you need).

This particular woman hit me with one I hadn't been asksed in a long time: Are you a Christian? I told her that I did not reveal personal things about myself, and she said, "but I have to know, since I won't see anyone who isn't a Christian." I told her I did not reveal personal things about myself. She told me, of course, that she could not see me, and we hung up.

Not long ago, a client I was seeing said that one of her family members didn't want her seeing me because he was sure I wasn't "scriptural," and therefore, wasn't "righteous." This particular family member wasn't what I would call righteous, either, but that appeared to be beside the point.

There is such a thing as a "Christian therapist," though a colleague of mine (who is Christian) is always asking me "What the hell is a Christian therapist, anyway?" A couple of years ago, NPR's All Things Considered ran a feature on Christian therapists, and the therapist who was interviewed said something so irresponsible I almost drove off the road when I heard it. He said Christian therapists were different from other therapists because "they have empathy."

What a lie and an insult. All decent therapists have empathy. You cannot be in the profession if you do not possess empathy. The first, last, and always rule of psychotherapy is: unconditional positive regard for the client. And if you think about it rationally, what is it about the Christian religion that would make one of its therapists have empathy that other therapists could not have?

I never hear of anyone asking for a Jewish therapist or a Buddhist therapist. It is only some Christians who have been made to believe that finding a fellow Christian is more important than finding the most competent mental health professional available. And, not to put too fine a point on it, but it seems possible that a fellow Christian may reinforce someone's already unhealthy guilt about such things as homosexual feelings, gender equality within marriage, and avoidance of abusive family members.

Most of my clients do not talk about God, but some say they believe God must be punishing them. When I ask what they have done to be punished, the only answer they can give me amounts to "because I want a life." It is hard to clear away all of the guilt and self-loathing that have been planted in some people by some churches, but I suppose I would do a better job if I were righteous and had some empathy.