My 2005 fantasy

If 2005 is to be a better year, there are some people and things I would love to see disappear:

1. CNN...If I never saw this Fox-related yuck-fest excuse for news again, even by accident, it would please me to no end.

2. John Kerry...He is supposedly "marketing" himself for another run, as though the first one weren't disaster enough for a lifetime.

3. Star Jones...This dead animal-wearing pillar of greed needs to stay locked in with her pitiful new husband so the rest of us never have to look at her again.

4. Reality television

5. Those red hats

6. Mel Gibson

7. Non-Asians discussing feng shui

8. Bumper stickers that say These Colors Don't Run

9. Bumper stickers that say My Child is an Honor Student at ____...Teaching your child to be modest about her abilities should be a priority.

10. James Dobson...a horrid creature with no entertainment value whatsoever

11. "Liberals" who think women's rights and/or animal rights are not important

12. Sean Combs

13. SUVs driven down the middle of the street...that goes double for taking up both lanes to turn a corner

14. Bad grammar and syntax on NPR...I expect it everywhere else, I'm afraid.

15. Low-carb products

16. Books and articles on how to be spiritual

17. "Blogs" that are all links and no analysis

18. DeLay, Frist, Santorum, Cheney, Bush, Rice, Rumsfeld, and the rest of the lying, anti-democracy, amoral Philistines

19. Thomas Kinkade paintings...I don't dislike them; it is their crass ubiquitousness that drives me crazy.

20. Taking any noun you like and changing it into a verb...There should be some kind of jail sentence for doing that.

21. Chris Matthews

22. Yuri Sharapov

23. Christian bookstores

24. Cell phones

25. Waiters who tell you their names...They usually make it worse by referring to themselves as "servers."