Today is Earth Day. To celebrate the preservation of the Earth and its inhabitants, the Bush administration has done the following since its very first days:

Allowed drilling on previously protected lands
Relaxed air pollution restrictions for manufacturers and power plants
Removed protections for undeveloped forest lands
Made cuts in environmental spending
Refused to endorse the Kyoto Protocol
Permitted federal facilities to be exempt from pollution laws
Permitted the unncecessary torture and killing of millions of lab animals
Refused to reduce arsenic levels in drinking water
Slashed the lead poisoning prevention budget
Refused to set limits on carbon monoxide emissions
Refused to ban atrazine
Endorsed the continued use of methyl bromide
Altered the language in an EPA report to keep from restricting mercury levels
Took away farmers' right to sue pesticide companies for damages
Appointed pro-industry "scientists" to EPA panels

The above list is very short; the actual list would take page to publish. Some of the items on the list went in direct opposition to Bush's campaign "promises." It is important to note, though, that the Bush administration cannot destroy the environment by themselves: They need your help! Here is what you can do to faciliitate the destruction of the Earth and its inhabitants:

1. Keep using those chemical fertilizers in your yard and garden and on your farm. The run-off is guaranteed to kill wildlife and destroy numerous ecosystems.

2. Keep using those chemical herbicides. Not only will you kill wildlife--both directly and by destroying their habitat--but you will release important carcinogens into the atmosphere and contribute to the seriousness of respiratory diseases.

3. Keep using those chemical pesticides. See number 2.

4. Don't recycle your paper, plastic and alumninum.

5. Make sure you buy the products of companies that perform barbaric and unnecessary testing on helpless cats, dogs, mice and rabbits.

6. Litter as much as possible.

7. Buy large tracts of land, cut down all the trees and put up strip malls.

8. Never bother to demand that your legislators clean up chemical waste in your state and punish the perpetrators.

9. Make sure you never bother to learn the truth about so-called "tort reform" so that you can be part of making sure pollutors and the poisoners of children never see a courtroom.

10. Vote Republican.