Let us forget for a moment that George W. Bush is the ignorant and unskilled spokesman for the real president, Dick Cheney. Let us also set aside the fact that in tonight's press conference, he didn't have a clue what was going on. These two facts have apparently done little to stop the hero worship he receives from millions of "hard-working, patriotic Amuricans."

Shocking as it may be to set these things aside, we have unfortunately become accustomed to doing so. But tonight's appearance had a new twist that cannot be ignored: Bush's hair was uncombed, he rambled even more than usual, and he slurred his words.

Drinking again? No sleep because someone finally told him he is supposed to be the leader of the free world? Anxiety attack? All of the above? Whatever it was, it was a chilling variation of the hair-turned-gray head that we usually see in the second terms of presidents. And where were his handlers? Where were the people who so carefully and strategically dressed him for his appearance on the aircraft carrier?

Perhaps they were all too busy picking up the pieces from the latest September 11 Commission hearings. In one brief paragraph, John Ashcroft managed to blame Bush for his department's failure ("No one told me...") and Clinton for the September 11 hijackings. Now that he has settled that matter, perhaps someone can take a few moments to comb Bush's hair and prop him up for his appearance in front of the commission.