According to The New York Times, a woman in Missouri, when discussing the Natonal Do Not Call List, "...said she hates to turn telemarketers down and hurt their feelings.

"Sometimes it's less painful for everybody if I just say something like we don't own our home, or the house is brick."


Feelings? Painful?

The problem here isn't telemarketing--it's this woman's narcissistic belief that buying a product has an impact on the emotional life of the seller. Saying we don't want to buy a product--and especially saying so to an unwanted solicitor--does not make us a party to the emotional destruction of another person. Not buying a product, or not listening to a rude interruption. is in no way an example of inflicting pain on someone. Not engaging with a complete stranger is a perfectly acceptable behavior.

Like so many people, the woman in Missouri gives permission to others to treat her with rudeness (and it is definitely rude to make unsolicited calls to people at their homes), and thinks she is being rude if she withholds that permission.

What a mixed up psychology we practice when we need to be "liked" by a total stranger who has just interrupted our dinner to talk to us about aluminum siding.