Sunday, December 29, 2002


ACLU—Communist, interfering traitors who want to destroy the American way of life by insisting on enforcement of the Constitution

Alec Baldwin—a curse word, meaning "Hollywood liberal"

Ambitious—pejorative only when used about a woman, as in "Hillary is ambitious and wants to be President."

American Way of Life—(when spoken by the wealthy)—Control of the
economy by the ultra-rich

American (or "Amurikan") Way of Life—(when spoken by those who are unwittingly led by the ultra-rich)—Straight white boys rule

Barbra Streisand—curse word, stronger than "Alec Baldwin" because she is a woman and Jewish

Card-carrying member of the ACLU—clever play on words to make people think "communist"

The Clintons—curse word, fairly strong, denotes womanizing, black-loving, Hollywood-associated flawed semi-liberal President and his ambitious wife

Clinton White House—Place where the President behaved badly, as have many Presidents before him, but the others don't count

Compassionate Conservatism—Same Republicans as always, with no regard for the poor, the oppressed, or the consumer

Decadent—Hollywood and liberals

Degenerate—A gay or bisexual person; sometimes confused with Ellen Degeneres, who is both degenerate and a Hollywood liberal

Evolutionists—People with at least a 6th grade education who were paying attention in school

Extremist—A liberal, as opposed to someone like Tom DeLay or Rush Limbaugh

Europe—An inconsequential place that is worse than Hollywood

Family Values—the agenda of heterosexual white, non-Hispanic, gentile people who are married to each other and who are not on welfare

The Feminists—A group of women and men who believe in social, political and economic equality for women but who are referred to as freaky cultists, as when Chris Matthews says, "The feminists disagree with you."

First Amendment—An obscure document used by liberals to allow people to say anything they want

Government Interference—Any enforcement of the Bill of Rights, environmental law, civil rights, consumer protection or child protection laws

Great Patriot—A man who never questions his government, as in "John Wayne (who was killed by the U.S. Government's secret bomb testing) was a great patriot."

Hard-Working Americans—People who are not homeless or on welfare and who are probably white

Hairdo—An important element in a politician's credibility, especially if the politician is female, and especially if she is Hillary Clinton

Hillary—curse word along the lines of "Barbra Streisand"

Hollywood—A place on the West Coast that tries to combine art and business and sometimes does a fairly good job of it, and which is crawling with Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, and their friends

Hollywood liberal—See above

Intellectual—Someone with an education who is to be feared and ridiculed

Jane Fonda—a very bad curse word, a traitor

Judeo-Christian Heritage—Warm, fuzzy philosophical home base for people who don't care to think but who believe they sound more inclusive if they include the "Judeo" part

Kennedy Liberal—An East Coast liberal. May be Jewish. See "intellectual."

Liberal Agenda—a plot to get people to stop violating the Constitution, raping the land, poisoning the population, and treating other people like garbage

Liberal Media—Favorite myth of the Republican Party

Love It Or Leave It—A bromide that refers to America, and that applies to dissatisfied liberals only

My Kids' Mom—A female parent who models conformity for her children

Or the Terrorists Win—A phrase that follows a command that citizens unquestioningly follow their government, engage in rampant consumerism, board planes where there is no airport security, etc.

Our American (or "Amurikan") Values—A combination of "American Way of Life" and "Judeo-Christian Heritage"

Patriotism—Never questioning those in power

Pledge of Allegiance—An oath of loyalty to liberty and justice that you had better say, and exactly as revised, or else

Pro-Life—A movement for people who are deeply concerned about the fate of fetuses, but who exhibit little concern for children, animals, and oppressed members of society

Protest—An oppositional act of the citizenry that, if done by Republicans, is righteous; if done by Democrats, it is "flaky" or "extremist"

Second Amendment—The most important document in the world

Talk radio—An aggressive form of entertainment for concerned Amurikans

Tree-Hugger—A pejorative term for someone who is concerned about the Earth's natural resources

Supreme Court—Tiny black-cloaked group that interprets law and, if asked, will select the President of the United States

Wal-Mart—The marketplace for straight white boys, their women, and those who are just too busy to think about discrimination, injustice, and corporate greed

Welfare—A government "handout" to lazy, immoral people who are black and Hispanic

West Coat Liberal—Similar to East Coast Liberal, only worse; see "Hollywood liberal"

Working Americans—Similar to "hard-working Americans," only more to the point

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

A more contemporary Christmas song for Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld:

We three kings right-oriented are
Bearing bombs we traverse afar
Field and fountain, cave and mountain
Following W's star

O, star of blunder, star of blight
Star with oil booty bright
Wayward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to the farthest right

Made a king through Florida's pain
Cash we bring to crown him again
BFEE forever, ceasing never,
Over us all to reign

O, star of blunder, start of blight
Star with oil booty bright
Wayward leading, still proceeding
Guide us toward our absolute might

General Frank's sense is offered as right
Incensed are those who've seen the light
Prayer and praising, rich white men raising
Glasses to Bush each night

O, star of blunder, star of blight
Star with oil booty bright
Wayward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to the bombing site

Murder is ours, its bitter perfume
Breathes a life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the White House tomb

O, star of blunder, star of blight
Star with oil booty bright
Wayward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to international plight

Glorious now behold his lies
Scores of Americans sacrificed
Enron sings "Hallelujah"
"Hallelujah" Halliburton replies

O, star of blunder, star of blight
Star of oil booty bright
Wayward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to the farthest right

Friday, December 20, 2002

Of all of the oils, just Wesson
Doesn't yet have the White House's blessin'
But in time they'll snag the
Big bucks from ConAgra
Is our children learning this lesson?

Sunday, December 15, 2002

A Christmas carol from the year 2000, for those who like to bask in nostalgia:

God rest you smug white gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Little W
Prevailed election day
To save you all from coastal scum
Who’d take your guns away
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys
Good ole boys
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys

From George his president father
A blessing early came
And unto certain precincts
Brought tidings of the same
How that in Florida was born
The son of Bush by name
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys
Make a loud noise
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys

“Fear not, men,” said the brother
Let nothing you affright
This day we made a President
To aid the Christian right
And screw all those who trust in him
Because they’re not too bright”
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys
All of us goys
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys

Now to the Court sing praises
All you within our reach
By purging rolls and closing polls
And shutting down Palm Beach
We stole the votes in Florida from
Blacks and Jews, so teach
Of tidings of cheer to good ole boys
Screw David Boies
O tidings of cheer to good ole boys

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

Imagine, for a moment, that the Prime Minister of Great Britain (or the President of the United States--that might be easier) has engaged in certain indiscreet activities that embarrass his family and his party. Imagine that--when cornered by the press--he apologizes and says that he made mistakes because he is just so overwhelmed by his duties. He has his job, he is a father and husband, and he is a representative of state.

Do you think anyone would come forward and say that his dilemma puts male dominance in danger?

But that is exactly what some have said about Cherie Blair's statement that having just too much to do has caused her to become careless and to not pay as close attention to her own affairs as she should have. "The cause of feminism is now in danger."

This is so blatantly sexist that it is sickening. It is hard to be a very busy person, but if you are a woman, then being too busy and making a mistake may mean that women should not have social, political and economic equality. It never ends..

Monday, December 09, 2002

Another limerick:

Two black folks who look really white
Stand at W's left and his right
With Condie and Colin
The White House has stolen
The meaning of MLK's fight

Friday, December 06, 2002

For today, a limerick:

The Dick troll was kept in a cave
In order to cover and save
The goons and the spies
Who deliver the lies
To the chumps in the home of the brave

Sunday, December 01, 2002

Today is World AIDS Day, a time to give special consideration to the terror that this syndrome has spread across the world. 5 million more cases of HIV infection are expeceted in this year alone, and 8,000 people die of AIDS every day. 95% of these deaths occur in the world's poorest countries. The war against AIDS is terribly underfunded, but there are also cultural issues that interfere with entire populations' receiving protection from any sexually transmitted disease or syndrome. Part of the strategy to combat AIDS is to intervene in such a way that the leaders of these populations determine that saving lives is more important than adhering to unsafe cultural standards. Not an easy task.

In the United States, though we no longer hear about AIDS hysteria, there is still a strong tendency to use the syndrome as a way of perpetuating prejudice toward gay men, and there are still people who do not support the needle exchange program for IV drug users. Just the other day, Bill O'Reilly was discussing the failure of gay leaders to demand that the gay male community halt its unsafe sex practices. No problem there, but then he added, "If it werent for homosexuals, there wouldn't be AIDS." Clearly, Mr. "I Know Everything" O'Reilly needs to do some reading on the origin of the syndrome, which involved a monkey and a female scientist. Spin that, O'Reilly.