Remember right after September 11 when the government asked if any of us ordinary citizens could translate Arabic since the FBI couldn't, and maybe this was causing some tiny holes in national security? Remember how shocked you were?

Well, the U.S. Army, in its wisdom, just fired seven expert Arabic translators. It seems they were gay, and therefore had to be weeded out. One of them, understandably afraid to trust Clinton's spineless don't-ask-don't-tell policy, outed herself, as is frequently the case. The Army said "no problem," then fired her. Then went about spying to see if they could find some more gay soldiers to get rid of. They found six.

Talk about your war on terror. I am feeling so much safer now.