Esteemed enemy of civil liberties and former mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani says in his new book that he asked President Bush for permission to be the executioner of Osama Bin Laden. This idea opens the door for an intriguing number of scenarios. For example, Kenneth Lay should be first in line to execute Saddam Hussein, since Iraq's sovereignty has inconvenienced him for so long. Jerry Falwell, that renowned defender of Judaism, could pull the plug on Yasir Arafat. And if we decide to go after Castro, Janet Reno should be allowed to run over him with her truck, as much trouble as she went through over that Elian Gonazales business.

There are a lot of people who could turn the lock if Dick Cheney went to jail. But that's too much fantasy, even for me.